Educated Arrivals

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Birth Stories

-anonymous mommy

I will be completely honest when I was pregnant with my first I was only 19years old and it was hard to enjoy the pregnancy because I was so nervous about the delivery.. As the day grew nearer I went from being nervous to down right terrified. It didn't help that everyone told me that I would be in labor for 12+ hours beings it was my first. Well, the day I went into labor was a beautiful day in early February and we had finally gotten a break from the snow and cold. We had some errands to run and I was feeling fantastic I remember the entire day like it was yesterday. We went to eat at Ground Round and the waitress joked that I might need to slide the booth out to fit my tummy in there. (haha) Later that evening we had been at my moms house and my dad and brother had a renovating task from mom and everyone kept asking me. "Are you sure you're not having contractions?"  and "You're feeling okay right?" They wanted to make sure that if they tore the kitchen apart my unborn child and I would cooperate by not interrupting things. Mom had ordered pizza and sent me and my boyfriend to go and retrieve it, we stopped at a car lot on the way there and my water broke. I was so worried I wouldn't know when it broke and there was no mistaking it. We went back to the house (with no pizza) in the middle of the torn apart kitchen and told them that my water had broke and I needed to go to the hospital. Everyone was pretty calm... except me. I was panicking. I was afraid that since my water had broke I was going to end up having this baby in my moms living room! I was shaking and nothing could calm me down. We got to the hospital about a half hour later (they of COURSE had to go get their pizza, Thanks guys.) When the nurses all were so calm and reassuring that put me at ease a little bit. Labor was nothing like I had imagined, it was nothing like the horror stories I had heard. I started having contractions about an hour and half after my water broke. They were strong but not unbearable.. I had wonderful nurses that understood that I was scared and they were there for me. I was their responsibility and they took that very seriously. Everyone made sure I was comfortable. I had a wonderful birthing experience with my son. He was born just 3 hours after going to the hospital not 12. I also held him right away and wasn't nearly as exhausted as I had imagined I would be. I was tired but not too tired to hold my new baby. I was especially surprised at how easily it was to get around the next day. I got up and walked around and went and got him from the nursery. All of my worries and nightmares I had in my mind were all for nothing. I had the "I can't do this" attitude towards the end of the pregnancy and looking back I feel completely silly. I have to admit though I still get a little nervous even now. I am expecting my third in May 09 and even though I've been through this twice before it does freak you out a little bit. I have the advantage now of knowing what to expect though. It was the unknown that made it so much scarier for me.

Chelsea Myers, Sioux Falls, SD


November 6th, 2008.  I was 6 days overdue with absolutely NO sign of a baby coming anytime soon.  Just big, uncomfortable, and thoroughly sick of being pregnant.  A friend and I decided to walk the mall with our girls to see if it might do something, ANYTHING at this point.  On the way there, I remember thinking "I'm SO tired, I should just not even go.  I should call her and say I'm going to bed. NOTHING is going to happen anyway.  And if I don't wake up in labor, I'm going to make an appointment with my back-up."  Well, NOTHING happened, as predicted.  Arrived home around 9:30.  My 21 month old daughter woke up as I carried her in from the car, so I rocked with her.  She asked to nurse.  I expected one of her minute-long sessions she'd done lately.  I'd nicknamed it "checking-in", it was like she had to check to see if she still could, but she didn't *really* want to nurse.  This wasn't one of those though, for the first time in weeks, maybe months, she nursed for probably 20 minutes.  And halfway through this, I was moaning through contractions.  That's right, *contractions* full-on, less than 5 minutes apart, actual contractions, from this baby that was **never** going to leave the womb! When they continued after the nursing stopped, I figured I'd better call my midwife.  She listened while I had one on the phone and said that yes, we'd better get to the birth house, this sounded like the real thing.  (I was to find out later that given my story of 5 hours total labor with my daughter, the spacing of these contractions, and the fact that she had farther to travel, she was afraid she might miss the birth!)  FINALLY.  I called my friend, the same one from the mall, who was also going to photograph the birth.  She was surprised, but ready, and she drove me to the house.  (My husband was at work in Minnesota, it was faster for him to get off as soon as I called him and meet us there rather than come home.) I called him while I waited for her to come to the house.  And again on my cell phone while on the road because the person I talked to the first time was not sure who I was talking about, but said he would find him.  (Between the two phone calls, he had gotten the message, called the house, talked to my mom, and left work to go to the birth house.  I had a new cell phone and number, which he did not have on him.)  So all of us are on the road, and it is the first snowstorm of the season.  Later, I found out my husband missed the turn off the interstate for the birth house and had to drive more than 10 miles to Luverne to find the next exit to turn around!   It was midnight, with blowing snow.  He saw it, but not in time to get onto it!  Meanwhile, the rest of us (me, friend, midwife and apprentice) arrive at the birth house.  My labor has slowed considerably.  The next few hours pass with several trips to the bathroom and a contraction about every 10 minutes while we all sat up talking.  It caused me to ask my midwife around 3 AM if she was SURE I was REALLY in labor.She said yes.  We tried out some strong red raspberry leaf tea.  When that did nothing, she suggested we all go to bed.  I'm guessing it was the change in position, I had 4 contractions within the first few minutes of lying down.  But I decided to try to sleep, and fell asleep for close to two hours.I woke up and had to use the bathroom.  I had a fairly strong contraction while there, and when I got up, there was bloody show, but it was a clot.......which looked *big* to me (it wasn't)  and it freaked me out because that certainly did not happen during my previous two births. I called my midwife in, and she looked.  She told me it was certainly NOT a lot of blood, and if I wanted to, she could check me.  I agreed, and I remembered how during my first labor (in the hospital) I kept asking my doula if bleeding was normal and I was afraid then too....but everything was fine.  That helped me realize that everything was most likely fine this time too.  My midwife checked the baby's heart rate, and it was normal.  That helped reassure me too.I was 8 cm. with a lip.  That means *most* of my cervix was an 8, but the front part was swollen.   (We figure that's why there was this clot rather than just a bit of more-usual-looking show).  I got into the tub after that and relaxed for several contractions.  I knew when I hit transition because, like my previous two births, I suddenly was certain I was going to throw up.  I didn't, but we kept a bucket nearby for a bit.And then I was ready to push.  I allowed my midwife to check me again.  This time, I was 10 centimeters, ready to go--but STILL with this LIP.  My midwife suggested that she could help push this lip out of the way of his head while I pushed.  I agreed, as I was ready to push.  I couldn't do "nothing" any longer. I did not know I could have pain like that during a natural childbirth!  During about the second contraction of her working with the lip, I demanded she stop doing that.  Which she did, as the contraction and pushing were over.  I asked her then if what she was doing would make this labor end faster.  She said yes, and so I told her to keep doing it.  I figured maybe I could have a couple more contractions with that pain and be done?  Or a much longer pushing session without it.  (and I wasn't sure exactly if the pain was entirely from what she was doing or having this lip there and pushing.)  So we continue for a couple more contractions like that, me sitting in the tub pushing, my midwife pushing this lip out of the way of baby's head.My midwife suggested I go onto my hands and knees.  I hated the position and refused to stay there longer than two contractions.  I don't know why, I just did NOT want to be in that position.So back we went to sitting, but this time I leaned on DH.I don't really know how much longer it was.  I know it felt like *forever*.  I know there was a point that I think was about 20 to 30 minutes before the birth where I absolutely begged my midwife for pain drugs.This is where my midwife was excellent, as were others in the room...my friend had her year-old daughter with her, and she was cheering as I pushed! My midwife told me to feel and I was able to feel baby's head--**ALMOST** there! That gave me exactly what I needed to go on.  I think it was ten minutes later, the lip was gone, and ten minutes after that, he was OUT, entirely, on my chest!  I remember collapsing against the back of the tub and saying "Thank God" mostly because it was OVER!  I was collapsed with eyes shut as he was placed on my chest, absolutely exhausted, but I was touching him...moments later I was able to open my eyes and said "Look at this swirl (of hair) and he's got  the LONGEST fingers!" The whole collapsed exhausted thing was NOT what I had envisioned, after pushing 20 minutes tops with my daughter and not remembering her birth as "painful", I'd had this vision of catching my own baby in the tub....after the whole trauma with the lip and all the time spent pushing, I was just too exhausted to do any more than I did. But afterward...afterward was exactly as I'd expected and hoped.  It was beautiful.  I could relax completely and enjoy getting to know my baby, our first nursing, everything, with no pressure to conform to anyone's schedule.  I didn't have to worry that I might have to argue with someone I'd just met over whether or not I was going to allow some "standard procedure" to be done to my baby. An hour after my son was born, maybe less, we were sitting in a chair and he was nursing while I enjoyed breakfast and a homemade gingerbread man with my coffee.  After that, I went back into the tub for baby's first bath. I realized in that moment that *I* did not give my other children their first baths.  A stranger in a hospital did it.  Yes, likely someone who cared, loved her job, but a stranger just the same.......**this** I thought is why I stayed out of the hospital this time.  Because I **SHOULD** be the one giving my baby his first bath.  And he SHOULD be enjoying it.  (My midwife showed me how to hold him with his arms on his chest so he would feel more secure and he LOVED it!  Bathtime is still one of our favorite things.  And, I am proud to say I am still the only one who has given him a bath.) Then I crawled into bed in the room with the same bedroom set as mine at home, and my midwife tucked my baby in next to me, and we slept.  It was fabulous being in a queen size bed, I'd done the same thing in the hospital, but I never really could relax, always worried my baby might fall off that high, narrow bed.  This bed was the same size as the one I'd shared with my daughter and DH, so I was totally comfortable. An hour or so later, I woke up, we talked some post-partum instructions, my husband showed up with the siblings and more food, we all ate....and I was home, in my own bed, by 4 PM.  After having a baby at 8:59 AM.  With a half-hour drive. Even with the lip, the total relaxed atmosphere with my not-quite-home-birth made it completely the right choice for me.  In the end, I was extremely happy that I got through the birth without drugs, where in the hospital, when I said I wanted them, I likely would have gotten them, and regretted it once I saw the effects they would have had on my baby. Without the stress of thinking about refusing "standard procedures", I was able to totally savor the first hours of my son's life.  And when I got home, I was able to sleep when I wanted to, without worry of being interrupted for more "standard procedures".  Would I do it again?  150% YES! (though I would prefer to skip having to drive somewhere else, especially in a snowstorm) Will I be finding out what I can do to avoid ever experiencing a cervical lip during labor again?  Absolutely! 
 
Proudly Announcing  Baby Zahir!  born 8:59 AM 11/7/08
8 lbs 2 oz  21 1/2 in.

I had did not have an ideal first delivery and found myself pregnant with our second and scared out of my mind.  I got to the hospital and was prepared to numb myself and my fears with an epidural ASAP… so I would not have to feel anything, then I met my nurse. She seemed to care about me, I mean really care about me and her confidence in the process of giving birth rubbed off on me.  The next thing I knew I was seven centimeters and could not believe it I had not even thought about my fears. That awesome nurse even stayed past her shift to be with me and my husband as I gave birth to our baby. Our little girl came out perfect and healthy and I came away from the delivery believing in birth, and believing in myself with my fear shed and a new confidence in my own abilities. If I can do it you can too.

-Anonymous in southeast SD


I had learned what I did not want from my previous two deliveries. I think it took me that long to really figure out what was important to me. It is funny how it took my third delivery to read all the books based off real birth research, take a true Lamaze class to learn how to work with my labor and to make myself more comfortable and support both me and my husband  hire a doula. My husband and I truly wanted a natural birth after our two previous deliveries involved inductions and labor drugs and we really wanted a true healthy, normal labor experience. I started laboring one fall evening after a family walk. I sat on my birth ball wondering if this would be it because I often had episodes of contractions that led no where so I was wondering if the same would happen again. I went to bed snuggled up against my husband that night and woke up between contractions, poked him so he could time and went back to sleep. At some point in the night the contractions intensified and there was no more going back to sleep. I remember feeling the sensation of the baby turning to work his way into a good position in the birth canal. I squatted, got on my hands and knees and sat on my ball until I felt it was time to head to the hospital. I arrived at four centimeters dialated and soon after my water broke. The contractions intensified and our doula arrived in time to help my husband comfort me with massage techniques and total silence in the room so I could focus. I was escaping inside my own mind with each contraction. I decided to get into the whirlpool and within ten minutes felt the urge to push but every time I tried to push my hip would get numb. Our doula recommended I try pushing on my hands and knees for a contraction when we found out the baby’s arm was by his head. It worked like a dream, the numbness went away in one contraction and I turned to my side and out came the little guy. I did it! I gave birth naturally! I went into labor on my own without an induction! I remember thinking at that moment with my beautiful newborn in my arms, “if I can do this I can do anything I want to do”. That confidence is still there all these years later I just hope that other moms learn from me and not wait for the third time around to learn everything you can to make the decisions that are right for you and most of all believe in yourself and your body!  I will never forget our doula and I still keep in contact with her I feel like she will always be part of one of the most special moments in our lives.

 -anonymous


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